The hangover that comes after a night of drinking is almost inevitable. But drinking heavily when your out with your friends is a little bit like glancing at a girls ass while walking through the mall, with your girlfriend. In the moment it seems totally worth it, but the wrath that comes afterwards is a devastating force that makes you immediately regret your decision.
Now I know there are thousands of hangover cures out there that claim to get rid of your angry friend the next morning, but there is just a couple of problems. It’s a little too late for a cure when you wake up, eyes crusted shut, mouth about as dry as the Sahara and the only memories of the night before are the pictures you probably should not have posted on your Facebook page. Not to mention when we are out drinking we can never remember to take the necessary precautions to ensure a lesser than death hangover the next day. I mean how are you going to think about that crap when you’re trying to get free drinks from guys and find Mr. Right while stumbling out of the bathroom with your skirt tucked into your thong, am I right girls?
Well we are here to give you a solid game plan to ensure you wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. That is, until you roll over and see what you decided to let sleep in your bed last night. That’s a whole other post right there.
The “Before” Plan
What you do before you drink is very important to how you feel after you drink. If you go into battle without proper training and preparation, you might just get your head blown off by an M-32 Grenade Launcher. The same goes for a night of binge drinking. So let’s make sure you’re prepared for the battle of “Little Thought, Big Mistakes” that you are about to embark upon tonight.
It’s simple really. Fat, fiber, water, asprin, antioxidants and Pepto. Boom, done.
FAT- Fat will slow your digestion and slow the absorption of alcohol which will make that dog’s bite a little less ferocious.
FIBER- Fiber will help to break down alcohol and absorb it, lessing the damage on your liver and the disastrous hang over the next day.
WATER- Dehydration is one of the main reasons that hangover’s feel like you and the devil had a face punching contest the night before. So the answer is simple, drink plenty of water.
ASPRIN- This will give you a head start in the pain relief department. Ibuprofen will also work, but stay away from Tylenol, it’ll crush your liver.
ANTIOXIDANTS- These brave soldiers such as Vitamin C and B-Complex will help to fight the damaging affects of alcohol and ease sound of that alarm clock, or your 1 year old.
PEPTO BISMOL©- If you tend to wake up with a neon-green monster boiling in your stomach, Pepto can ease the toll those 5 shots of Jack take on your stomach.
About an hour before drinking have a nice meal with the following:
2 strips of bacon (Fat, Vitamin B)
2 eggs (Fat, antioxidant)
1 slice cheese (Fat, tastes soooo damn good)
whole wheat bagel or english muffin (Fiber, carbs)
1 banana or apple (antioxidants, fiber)
1 glass of orange juice (antioxidants)
1 glass of water (water)
Immediately before drinking:
16oz. Water (one last attempt to hydrate before the onslaught of shots-shots-shots,shots,shots!)
Pepto-Bismol© (coat that belly before you go to war)
Asprin or Ibuprofen (Let the fun begin!)
Moral of the story: Eat a meal full of grease and fruit, drink water and take Pepto. This will control much of the beast until the next morning. Now, if your nickname is “Guzzle” and you go out packing all the essentials like a funnel and your own professional beer pong balls, you might need a little more help so we have some ‘morning after’ tips coming soon…